Ophelia Writes

I have absolutely no writing credentials, which is probably obvious from that first sentence. But I’m channeling my inner Carrie Bradshaw and writing this blog anyway, because someone needs to.

There are plenty of books and social accounts about healing from narcissistic abuse, how to spot red flags, and how to reclaim your power. I’ve read them, saved them, cried to them at one in the morning. They are helpful. They give language to the chaos.

What I haven’t seen is a space that doesn’t stop at “heal and move on,” but actually looks at the men who caused the damage in the first place. No real platform that says, “This wasn’t just a lesson for you, this was a choice he made.” No mother-in-law volunteering to hold these men accountable.

So here we are.

This is a blog of Chads (and Brads), and this is me finally saying out loud what so many of us have been living.

Yes, books like Run Like Hell, TikToks on trauma bonding, reels about narcissistic abuse, and infographics about red flags are useful. They remind us that we are not crazy. They help us see patterns. But a lot of them end with the same message: heal, let go, move on.

I am all for healing. I am all for moving on. But I kept feeling this question in the back of my mind: what about the men who blew everything up and then just walked away? The ones who rewired our nervous systems, drained our bank accounts, wrecked our trust, made us doubt our reality, and then got to move on with a clean story about how “it just didn’t work out” and ultimately move on to their next target.

That is the gap this blog lives in.

This Blog of Chads is not a revenge project. It is a reckoning. I hope it is a real, maybe slightly satirical (because if we don’t laugh, we will cry and we have cried enough), very honest collection of stories that exposes the emotional warfare so many women silently endure and then somehow get blamed for while they suffer in silence. These are real stories from me and from women I love and support as friends. We are not bitter, we are awake. We are not crazy, we were preyed on. We are not perfect, but we are done being quiet.

I know not all narcissists are men, and not all men are narcissists. This is not about all men. This is about a specific pattern of man most of us have met, dated, married, had kids with, or almost lost ourselves to.

We are calling him what he is: a Chad. Or a Brad. Or whatever name fits in your world.

To me, a Chad or Brad is a man who refuses to take real accountability for his actions. He leans on manipulation, gaslighting, charm, and entitlement to get what he wants, usually at the emotional expense of women, partners, and often his own children. From the outside he can look calm, kind, funny, successful, or “such a good guy.” That is part of how it works.

My goal with this blog is to break down the different types of Chads and Brads we have encountered, each one a real story with real consequences. The Ultimate Chad. The Second Place Chad. The Business Chad. The Dating App Chad. The Cheating Chad. The “Nice” Chad. The Obvious Chad. Behind each label is a pattern that has cost women years, money, safety, sanity, and sometimes their sense of self.

Underneath the humor and the nicknames, there is a serious point. I want you to feel seen. If you recognize one of these men in your past or present, I want you to know you are not alone and you are not the problem. I hope some men see themselves in these stories too, not just from a place of shame, but from an honest look in the mirror that makes them change something. I hope you laugh sometimes and cry sometimes, because if we don’t laugh and cry about this stuff, we end up swallowing it and screaming on the inside.

Most of all, I want to help break cycles. I want our daughters to grow up with different examples of love. I do not want them to think that anxiety is normal in a relationship, that walking on eggshells is love, or that their job is to fix grown men who refuse to look at their own mess.

Ophelia is a pen name. I use it to protect my family’s privacy, but I am done protecting the behavior that caused the damage. The details and names in the stories will be changed, but the patterns, the feelings, and the impact are real. If you have ever sat on a bathroom floor sobbing because of a man who swore he loved you, or watched your child come home confused and shut down after time with a father who feels unsafe in ways they cannot yet explain, this space is for you.

I am not here as a therapist or an expert. I am here as someone who finally stopped carrying the blame for other people’s choices and started calling things what they are.

If any of this hits close to home, you are not alone. This is just the beginning.

My first story is about the Ultimate Chad, the textbook calm, “reasonable” narcissist who looks like a good guy to everyone else while slowly erasing the woman standing next to him.

Let’s start there together.